Your Weekend Horoscopes: MAY Edition

TAURUS: May your pants be tight and your pizza be greasy. 

GEMINI: May your friends be obnoxious and your Instagram be liked. 

CANCER: May your margarita be strong and your SPF be effective. 

LEO: May your rent be paid and your brunch be expensive. 

VIRGO: May your wine be red and your emojis be smiling. 

LIBRA: May your pedicure be fresh and your rim be salted. 

SCORPIO: May your windows be down and your sunglasses be inexpensive. 

SAGITTARIUS: May your music be free and your dance moves be goofy. 

CAPRICORN: May your laughter be loud and your Netflix binges be long. 

AQUARIUS: May your lips be red and your eyebrow game be strong. 

PISCES: May your beer be cold and your worries be trivial. 

ARIES: May your jokes be clever and your secrets be juicy.