How To Tell If You're A Robot

You’re at the airport on your way to Los Angeles, and TSA stops you because they detect something on your chest. But you’re not wearing a bra, or any jewelry, and you actually showered this morning. So you think, What does this mean?! 

Do I have a metal heart? A built-in under-the-skin bra? Wait, why ARE my boobs so perky? Help!? 

Bleep. Bloop. 

But after a very nice lady feels you up, they let you go, so you find a little nook on the floor of your gate and start a blog post about robots.

You text this little anecdote to a few of your friends. One of them agrees that yes, you’re probably a robot, but the other two mention something about a heart of gold…..Whatever. 

You wonder if maybe you really are a droid. You wonder if this actually happens every time you travel, but a friend or family member usually hits the reset button. Since you’re traveling alone this time, there was no one around to hit the switch, so you’ll ponder this theory until you’re scooped up from the Burbank airport. 

You start wondering if this is why you have a hard time crying when you’re ~supposed to~ be sad. You start wondering if this is the real reason behind your resting bitch face. Is resting bitch face actually just resting ‘bot face?!

You may never know.