How To Count Down To Halloween

Count back a few years to the one with your first couple’s costume. You were Darth Vader and his Storm Trooper intern, which was hilarious and clever, and a little clumsy, as both of you were donning helmets with limited vision. 

Count to seventh grade. You’re called down at an assembly to demonstrate inappropriate slow dancing and your partner is your current crush. You’re red in the face, but secretly pleased. 

Count back to 2011. Halloween falls on a weeknight, so you stay in and watch Psycho. You feel a little spooked, so you invite him over to join you. 

Count to the year you were the Scream killer, but no one could tell because you weren’t wearing your mask for most of the night in order to access alcohol. 

Count back a couple years to carving that SnapChat pumpkin in your kitchen. 

Count all the cheap, “sexy” costumes you wore your first couple years of college. 

Count back to the one where you were Santa Clause. 

Count to Bart Simpson. Maleficent. The Queen of Hearts. 

Count to Tim Burton, and Hocus Pocus, and American Horror Story. 

Count to feeling like a witch all through the month of October. 

Count to running 5 miles a day in order to fit into a tiny costume. Count to several years later, when you accept your woman’s body and decide not to give shit.

Count to this year: the year you’ll be a goofy astronaut. Daylight Savings starts on the 1st, so you’ll have an extra hour to party. Or sleep. Or dance the night away. This year Portland has Uber, and this year Halloween lands on a Saturday. You count on all of these things to make for a perfect year for your favorite holiday. 

And you keep counting.