How to Enjoy the Holidays Like a Mother Effing Adult

You remember a time when you counted down the days until Christmas. You remember a time when you thought Thanksgiving was an okay holiday: an earlier version of Christmas, but without any presents. 

You used to be very particular about the timing of Christmas music. If it was too soon, it drove you crazy. When movies like Elf and The Grinch premiered in November, you were utterly annoyed and refused to see them any sooner than December 1st. 

You wanted control, but you didn’t have any.

You wanted to hang on to some memory of the holidays you never really had. You were grasping a perfect version of Christmas morning. You liked terms like “hustle and bustle,” and “holiday spirit.” You were impatient about Thanksgiving, because it only got in your way. 

But now…now, you can’t wait to contribute pie and casserole on Thursday. You can’t wait to drink a little too much wine with your mother. You can’t wait to gain a little holiday weight and watch every Thanksgiving episode of Friends. 

Now you write thank you cards and bring a real dish to Friendsgiving. You bring something for the host. You have classy level of cheer. 

The things you look forward to are laughing at your dad’s jokes at the dinner table and teaching your nephew how to make train noises. You’re not as hard on yourself about keeping New Year’s resolutions either, and when people start posting Facebook statuses about a red cup, you think: people are still going to Starbucks? 

You think about the people who work at the airports on Thanksgiving and the guy who delivered your Amazon Prime dental floss on a Sunday.

Now you realize that surrendering to whatever happens actually brings you the most joy. You realize that life just happens in any way it wants to, and the holidays are no exception. It occurs to you that something like Christmas could never really be “ruined,” and thinking such an absurd thought is actually pretty wacky. You plan for things, but they really just happen, don’t they? You find peace with this, but you still sing about Peace On Earth.