How To Get Stoked About December

You want to continue writing. Your biggest fear in life is letting thoughts slip away forever because there’s nowhere to write them down. Your brain can only hold so much, and what if you’re driving or running or taking a shower? You wonder where you used to put these thoughts before you had a Notes app on your phone. 

You’re making a holiday playlist and you realize that Seth Macfarlane made an entire Christmas album. You appreciate someone who’s vulgar and comedic, but also kinda classy. You hope your personality encompasses similar dynamics. Plus, Seth was always on your celebrity crush list, simply for his deep, exaggerated voice. 

You think back to eighth grade choir. You were supposed to sing a solo for a post-9/11 assembly. You were terrified, so you tried to convince your instructor to let you get out of it. He explained that it was too late to back out, and encouraged you by telling you that it would be okay because you were pretty, among other inappropriate comments. 

You’re feeling kinda festive and have begun to put together some holiday gifts for the people you care about the most. Alas, you’re have somewhat clumsy fingers, so you search “how to wrap presents” on YouTube. 

You want to stream some vintage Star Wars movies, because um, hi: it’s December of 2015, and what else should you be doing? But for some frustrating licensing reason, you are unable to access them for free, so you watch the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show instead. You remember how bummed out about your body you used to get while watching the show. You’re very pleased that now you’re able to enjoy the art, the bodies, and the music, without considering the things you don’t have. 

Because you know what you do have. You have a fancy phone that holds phone numbers and ideas and sends messages in an instant. You see the magic in this. You have music and brains. You’ll never have a Christmas album, but whatever, you can carry a tune. You see the beauty in this. You have the means to buy some gifts and you have the Internet to teach you how to get the right aesthetic. 

You see how fucking lucky you are, and you’re pretty stoked about it.