How To Wear All Black

It’s not even September yet, but you can’t stop thinking about your Autumn wardrobe. It’s still blazing hot outside, but the drought is causing leaves to change early. You hear about the Fall TV lineup and snippets referencing the return of pumpkin-flavored coffee. 

You’re at the mall shopping for a sweater you can’t afford. It’s beautiful and cable-knit and it comes in the choice of an off-white color or black. You choose black. 

You’re doing laundry and you have to do two dark loads because that’s all there is. Running tights, and dresses, and thigh-high socks. Your black skinny jeans that sit just right at your waist. Black tank tops. So many black tank tops. And black panties. 

You’ll accent your look with some gold jewelry, a bright scarf, and a bold lip, of course. But otherwise, it’s 50 shades of black on black on black. 

You read about the term health goth. They say it originated in Portland. You believe you invented it. You’re the queen of black. The queen of your coven. Black coffee. Black nail polish. Black Nike. 

Some may call it lazy, and sometimes it certainly is. But more often than not, your ensemble is a carefully curated set of just the right pieces.  

You get in your black car. You burn your legs on the black leather seat. You blast Amy Winehouse’s album Back to Black and you feel like you’re supposed to. Black clothing makes you feel safe. It makes you feel powerful. It makes you feel invisible when you want to and authoritative when you need to. 

It gives you just what you need. You heard someone say that witches feel most like themselves in the Fall, anyway.