How to Embrace Natural & Artificial Beauty

Feel powerful with red lips & let your eyebrows grow out like the Brook Shields wild woman you are 

Invest in something you’ll never regret like Invisalign, & let it pay for itself by smiling every damn day with your God-given teeth

Look slightly unnatural with a blue streak of hair or a hot pink t-shirt, ‘cause what’s the difference, really?

Nourish your face with Vitamin A in 2 ways: retinol night cream & a handful of spinach in your morning smoothie

Use some fancy photo editing apps & filter the shit out of your #iwokeuplikethis selfies 

Watch the Youtube eyebrow tutorials you wish to see in the world

Celebrate inventions like the shellac manicure & treat your natural nails with some fancy enthusiasm

Curse bras & makeup for 28 days, & then finally emerge in the wild with a so-polished-you’re-kinda-frightening evening look

Wear some sassy eye glasses or color contacts & feel thankful for one of the oldest unnatural inventions ever: optics 

Consider that vanity is a personal art form & stop feeling guilty about it

Smugly walk around with a top knot bun that looks like it’s full of secrets, but really took you 34 minutes & 2 cans of Aquanet 

Get down with some perfume that smells like happiness & hope for the future, & mix it with your natural musk of laziness & wearing the same jeans for a week straight

Go a little apeshit with 3 layers of mascara, (’cause who can resist a name like Perversion while in the checkout line at Sephora?) & don’t wash your hair for a week, because even though you have time, you simply don’t want to

Have fun, don’t apologize, and remember that beauty rules are all just made up anyway.

Be a cyborg, okay?