Your Weekend Horoscopes: Friday the 13th Edition

Pisces: Keep a positive attitude and enjoy the warm weather, but remember: sunshineall the time makes a desert. 

Aries: “Get his attention by writing all your texts like a Buzzfeed article.” via Funny Women on Twitter

Taurus: No one is actually searching for the hashtag “#fun” but we’re all looking to have a good time, aren’t we?

Gemini: Get over your Daylight Savings slump and find some grown-up ways to energize yourself like coffee, adequate sleep, or healthy food! 

Cancer: Weekends are for laziness and spending too much money on brunch. So take some shortcuts, sleep a little extra, and order the Eggs Benedict special, with a latte, fresh-squeezed OJ, and a Bloody Mary. 

Leo: I wouldn’t order a vanilla latte this weekend, if I were you. Lucky speed limit: 50 mph

Virgo: A braid in your hair will bring you luck, and red nail polish wouldn’t be a bad idea either. 

Libra: Good luck charms this weekend include: black hair ties, the number 3, and the red balloon emoji.

Scorpio: Friday the Thirteenth? How ‘bout Friday the FLIRT-teenth. Get your sass on this weekend and do what you do best. 

Sagittarius: Pay close attention around 1:00pm on Saturday afternoon, as a clue to your future will be revealed. 

Capricorn: Out of site out of mind! Or…absence makes the heart grow fonder? YOU do the math.

Aquarius: Today may be be Friday the 13th, but tomorrow is 3.14, which is pi day, so get baking! Nothin’ says lovin’ like something from the oven.