Your Weekend Horoscopes: Heatwave Edition
LEO: Throw caution to the wind and drink like it’s a three-day weekend! Laugh too loud. Make up some excuses. The next couple days are all about living your life. “Fuck it!” is your mantra. Lucky emoji: beers cheersing
VIRGO: This is the weekend to bend things. Bend the rules. Bend over backwards for a friend or drink some hard lemonade through a bendy straw! No rules, princess! Lucky emoji: peace sign
LIBRA: All you need this weekend is an air conditioned refuge, Netflix, the wifi password, and the Pizza Hut app on your phone. Lucky emoji: slice of pizza, duh
SCORPIO: You know what they say! Cold showers bring super powers. So get to some water and cast a love spell, you mermaid, you. Lucky emoji: bikini
SAGITTARIUS: Get your flirt on this Friday. Wear white shorts. Get a little too drunk. And don’t think about work until Monday morning! Lucky emoji: smug face with sunglasses
CAPRICORN: Sweat it out. Embrace the heat, literally and metaphorically. Get some sun and say yes to a date. Ride the heatwave like the queen you are. Lucky emoji: flame
AQUARIUS: Spend some extra time with the important women in your life. Drink some wine. Sit in a circle and laugh until you cry. Compliment each other. Be weekend women. Lucky emoji: twin girls dancing
PISCES: From now until Sunday, do whatever you want. Stay out too late. Say no to brunch. Stay inside even though the sun is bright. Do what you please, and you will be pleased. Lucky emoji: painting nails
ARIES: The air is thick. It’s way too hot. You’ve been working hard and deserve some flirty fun. So this weekend, reclaim the drought! Put on a breezy dress and drink a cocktail as big as your head. Let your hair down. Send that text. Lucky emoji: martini
TAURUS: Use the technology you have available to make your weekend special. Use your parents’ HBOgo account, use your smart phone to make plans, and use the internet to Google the best brunch spot. Plug in in order to unplug! Lucky emoji: clapping hands
GEMINI: Like I always say: tequila makes the heart grow fonder. So this weekend, drink up, and fall for everyone! Fall for a man. Fall for peach cobbler. Fall down the stairs? Whatever. Do you. Lucky emoji: cocktail
CANCER: Whether you’ve been working hard or slacking off, everybody needs a weekend! So this weekend, do what you do best. Go out two nights in a row, shoot some whisky, sleep in, and make up for it with iced coffee. Lucky emoji: lipstick
